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Why not start the new year by applying to be my boyfriend? All the former criteria remains the same. Although I received no initial applications, I am not yet at desperation point. You’ll still have to be one the world’s most awesome guys to be considered for this position.



Essential criteria –

1) Not blonde.
2) Not skinny.
3) Be funny.
4) Enjoy reading.
5) Share my generally cynical worldview.
6) I obviously have to find you attractive. Good luck with that.

Why would you bother applying?

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In an attempt to broadcast to the universe that I am desperate to get what some may call a ‘real, actual, career’ job and finally move out of home I have invested in my first piece of furniture.

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